My son started second grade last week. I get the kids ready for school while my wife sleeps (she's got a graveyard shift).
He's got a twin sister. I told them both it was time to get ready for school and his twin sister pulled a bunch of dresses out of her closet. My son picked one up and said "I want to wear this." I'm thinking, whatever dude, we're running late just put some kind of clothes on and let's get out the door. I'm pretty politically neutral so while I wouldn't say I was particularly happy he wanted to wear a dress, it also wasn't nearly as upsetting to me as the idea that I could be late for work if we didn't get out the door.
I figured ok, I wouldn't ever tell my daughter not to do something because it wasn't ladylike so I shouldn't tell my son not to do something because it isn't manly.
I drop him off and get to work. Three hours later we get a call to come pick up our son because his outfit is distracting to the other kids and he's being bullied. He was very sad when my wife got there and the whole morning had been upsetting for him.
My wife is irate asking how I couldn't have realized that was inappropriate and I was setting our son up to fail. So is just about everyone else I've run this by. My wife thinks damage has been permanently done because he'll be in the same school system as these kids the rest of his life and he'll be known as "the one who wore a dress" and I was being thoughtless or willfully ignorant because I was in a rush and our son suffered for it.
At the time, I truly didn't think it was that big a deal, but that doesn't change that I put my son in harm's way so now I'm not sure whether I made the wrong decision or not or how to feel about it. AITA